Infinte.

The moments given
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It started, it progressed, it became and now it's ending. Goodbyes are not forever, just simply an I'll miss you till I see you again. It's time look back for awhile. Look at my low points and high points too. Remembering the past and hoping it helps the future. When I started this blog post I looked over a post called, "The Effects of Leaving and Coming Back"  it sounded forced, like what I was saying were just lies. Only because I didn't want people to think I was unhappy here. I was happy, just not home… But reading further to newer posts the lies weren't there. When I started this blog I was the praying for the U-Haul to come and drive me back to San Diego. For my parents to grab me at school and give me a one way ticket out of here. I just wanted to go home. I was a girl who never saw an actual winter. I was the kid who realized most of her classmates are Barneys. I cried in between classes and kept looking for the quickest escape route. I was just hoping that grasping on would be less painful than letting go. Blogging gave me an outlet, a place where I could go away from the loud whispers around me. Did it change it my life? No, not even close. But it showed me how much I've changed through out the year.  Starting out as a new kid dealing with clouds of ignorance. Ending up a little less new and little less ignorant. And it's because of the moments I've had here. The nights where Maya and I couldn't stop laughing or the days where the house seemed too quite. The lunches where Olivia drank her kiwis or Annie wouldn't stop yelling. The tournaments when Nina got angry or when Sariah flirted with a cowboy. Or the English classes where Haley debated and Ashley complained.  Or maybe the weekends spent cooking and studying. They made what I am today. My self confidence is much higher, my writing is much better and my family and I are much closer. I do know that I'm different today than I was yesterday. It's funny looking back how much I hated change and now looking forward I can't wait for it. And though this is the end, I don't feel like I'm losing what I've tried to say for the past year. I've accepted what's to come. The fact that I'll be living in 'cardboard' for four more years.  Or how I'm always going to miss San Diego, just less as I did before. Differences and similarities will always be sorted out in my mind. Lessons will stick with me for a long time... For example, my fourth grade teacher taught me a lot. How we shouldn't write the end on a paper unless we really are done. I told him I wouldn't ever write that till I had to end something significant. I've been waiting for awhile to that write down. I'm a girl within the story with too many pages. Who likes to look back and reminisce. Who knows she feels loved. The End.

When Haley laughed and Ashley smiled.