Two Sides of Goodbyes

Here she is my one and only
My Blondie: Marin Jones

She walked in with a dark black underneath her eyes. They beat her emotionally to the core and now she's tired. Tired because she had look her best friend in the eye today and tell her their friendship could last 751.12 miles away. They all asked why her other half was moving. Everyone was whispering in the halls, telling her she didn't feel the pain alone. But this girl was her sister, the one person who understood everything she said, they all made points: how could you be hurt more then me I've known for her 5 or 6 years. But they didn't know the things she did, they weren't there for her like she was. They couldn't see the things her best friend was trying to tell them. So when she finally got home that night, she cried like there wasn't a tomorrow. Within each tear that shed was memory of the laughs and the moments that they spent together. Each of them strong enough to last a life time.

To quote The Script , "Where is the good in goodbye, where is the nice in nice try?" My best friend doesn't like the script, she always thought they sung about the same thing. Plus they always made her feel sad and she doesn't like feeling sad. She will always be one of the toughest people I will ever know. Seeing her cry was a reality check for me, moving was effecting other people than me.  We talked that weekend after I told everyone else, she told me what it was like for her. I don't know if what I saw as true, but she was cracking, underneath the pressure? I will never know. All I do know is that we were kinda scared. I didn't know what was gonna happen, how could you, there was no way of knowing.  You just hope that it'll turn out ok. The last time I saw her I was leaving her house. She wanted my last night in San Elijo to be at her house. The house we came home to when, we walked around the town. The days when we sat at the park and ranted about the smallest things. That seemed so big at the time. Or the mornings where we could just lay there perfectly content...

 For those of you that either have had to leave your best friend or have been left by your best friend.  You might know what I'm talking about. I don't want to sound some old wise person telling you life lessons. But losing your best friend hurts because then you know your friendship wasn't even that strong enough to begin with. I would be a lot of different things with out her, she knows that some days I need to be alone and others I just need to not be. Maybe you thought of a person maybe you didn't but in the end if that kinda of person is with you don't loose them. I know what its like not to see them everyday and it hurts. She does to, and somedays I wish that she didn't. 

Was it Worth it?

After a day of yelling and screaming, trying to prove them wrong. After a day of sweat and a little tears. After a day of stress and frustration. After a day of  tough results.. Was it really worth it...

I woke up at five thirty, Tightrope by Walk the Moon, blasting through my phone's speakers, waking me up. See it was Saturday and it was cold, the last thing I wanted to do was get up at five thirty in the morning and have people yell at me all day. Yes, it  was my first debate tournament in a long time.  I love my debate I do but if I had to choose I don't think it would be riding a bus with them in the cold morning. In the back of the bus you heard the congress kids talking about the most recent GOP debate. In the front you had the upper class men sleeping or laughing. In the middle were most the kids who were going to their first tournament. Aka like three people plus two others. The ride consisted of screaming, laughing, terrible singing (!!!!!!!), sleeping and debate memories. 

Everyone while waiting
picture thanks to pintrest.com

When the team entered we were the last to get there.  It was a smaller tournament but somehow it looked as if hundreds and hundreds of people were there. I'm not a person who typically gets nervous, in that moments though, I started to shake. Seeing all the policy kids spewing (speaking very fast), others screaming at their teammates, talking about evidence and case writing. My type of debate is public forum, luckily not as crazy as policy or congress. Those are terrifying... Our first round started roughly ten minutes after came it was our first round. My partner and I were hoping to get the affirmation side of the topic. Actually luckily we got negatory, after a full forty five minutes of yelling and fighting, along with a few snippy comments and questions from both sides it was over.. After another three rounds and a bye round. Which means it's an automatic win but we get no speaker points. 

While the judges we calculating the scores it was about hour and half break. My debate team is one dysfunctional family.. I was adopted into it during this time. I can't even try to explain what the whole thing is it would take an entire blogpost to describe what it is. But the best part of that entire time was that I felt welcomed to the stress...  After an hour and half of waiting it was the award ceremony. They announced the I.E. aka speech events first. Then it was time for debate. Novice P.F. was announced third. They announce the top five first. So after fifth was announced, we were nervous. After fourth was announced, we thought ok maybe third. And after third was announced, did we even place? Well that's when second was called. First tournament and we got second!! I don't know who was even more excited for us my team or Nina and I.  I am glad for debate it helped me fit in even more here in Park City. They make us feellike on big family

After a day of yelling and screaming, trying to prove them wrong. After a day of sweat and a little tears. After a day of stress and frustration. After a day of  tough results.. After a day of laughing and welcoming.. After a day of smiling and kidding Was it really worth it... Well yes it was.

"Rumors at least you're spreading something besides your legs :)"

What I think about when I hear a Rumor about me
thanks to quotesgram.com

Let me tell you a story, there was girl who went to my school since kindergarten. We had every class together in middle school but I only have spoken to her once. See she had a reputation. The rumor was she's got five boyfriends, she hooked up with a junior. So basically she's a slut. At least that's what I thought. For her sake I'm changing her name, lets call her Ally. Ally didn't dress like her reputation. She was an average girl, smile a lot, didn't talk much though. One day I found her crying. Ally was breaking, I sat down next her. She said in her quiet voice " Ask me, ask me if the rumors are true." So as a naturally curious person I asked. She explained, she had five brothers they are all physically and mentally talented so they went to a private school. The 'junior' was her cousin, where in his culture you kiss on the lips to say goodbye. We ended up talking all lunch, she thanked me for listening, and went to the bathroom to wash the shame away. A boy walked up to me and asked if I learned any good tips. At that moment I couldn't think, if you have seen me mad you know that when I get angry and you can't stop me.  Lets just say he went away real quickly. The last couple of months people looked at Ally differently. Rumors are killers, mentally hurting you until you need to break....

Hey guys its Reede and its time to talk about rumors. And yes the story I just said was a hundred percent true. Don't believe me say it to my face please instead of telling other people. I am o sick and tired of hearing new things about me every week. I like this dude, I'm psycho, my family isn't from California, my sister doesn't actually exists. I am kinda sick of it. It's my life get your face out of it, if you have something to say about me say it to my face (you know exactly who you are.)  Honestly people just need to grow up and either stop talking or tell it to people straight. It's hard for a person to go on when people tell lies as if they were truths. I watched a strong girl crack that day, a girl I knew since we were five, and I never said a word. I was guilty and that was my fault I get that, but I stopped them, I tried. I'm sorry if I'm hurting any one's feelings but I don't give a sh!t. Honestly if you're reading this blog and  you're thinking 'This doesn't apply to me.' Well you're lying to yourself, we both know that when you hear something interesting you are going to your friends not caring if it's true or not. So I'm clear out some interesting things people think are true.

• I don't like anyone, it's not any of your business either
• I don't hate Park City believe or not I like it here
• I'm actually from California check the 'about me' page you're gonna see proof
• I'm also perfectly happy with my life

Glad I cleared that up. I'm honestly really done with people right now. That's kinda why I come across super angry because you know what I am. People need to stay in their own lives and not anyone else. Thank you